


Oh Everybody Deceives Me

by ShipperTrash140109



Series: Harlee Crap [4]
Category: Actor RPF, Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF, British Actor RPF
Genre: Cute Kids, Domestic, Established Relationship, M/M, Married Couple, Movie Night, mazie and harley are too suspicious for their own good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-14 22:18:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18061205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShipperTrash140109/pseuds/ShipperTrash140109
Summary: “Okay, so, the choices are; X-men, Night at the museum, Spirit, or Oddball, please cast your votes”“Hey, Ben, I dunno about X-men, have we got Avengers? I think you got a little mixed up with which franchise was the good franchise”“Sorry Joe, hate to do this to you; who wants to watch Jurassic park?”akathe mazlek family (minus joe) and the harlee family enjoy a movie night. harley and mazie are too curious for their own good





	Oh Everybody Deceives Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [imnosaint](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imnosaint/gifts).



> disc: If you are or know anyone mentioned in this fic I urge you to turn away now!
> 
> i honestly dont know what this is but i find it kinda funny, i hope you do too!!
> 
> IM TAKING REQUESTS so feel free to drop one in the comments or on my tumblr!  
> FEEDBACK AND COMMENTS (even the screaming ones) ARE ALWAYS APPRECIATED💓💓

“Okay, so, the choices are; X-men, Night at the museum, Spirit, or Oddball, please cast your votes” Ben held the movies up, moving them around, letting everyone have a good look, Harley and Mazie looking very serious as they considered their options.

“Hey, Ben, I dunno about X-men, have we got Avengers? I think you got a little mixed up with which franchise was the good franchise” Joe pointed out, his comment prompting a poorly hidden laugh from Gwilym, Ben glaring at each of them before sighing.

“Sorry Joe, hate to do this to you; who wants to watch Jurassic park?” almost instantly Harley, Mazie and everyone else apart from Joe started yelling ‘me!’ and Ben shot the now fuming red-head a sly grin before turning to put the cursed disc in.

“Okay, this is a targeted attack, you can’t do that! Mazie already speaks in Jurassic park quotes 80% of the time!” He spluttered, gesturing wildly at where Rami and Mazie were giggling amongst themselves, the little girl looking thrilled at her dad’s annoyance. “Mazie, you’re lucky I love you, otherwise you wouldn’t get any piggy backs ever again” Joe grumbled, scrunching his nose and eliciting more high-pitched cackles from the little girl.

After putting the movie in, Ben collapses on the couch next to Gwil, Harley quick to move from where he’s sat on the floor patting Frankie to sit up between his dads. Meanwhile, Joe has retreated to the kitchen to get movie snacks (and probably curse Ben out for being an evil wretch).

When he gets back, he squeezes in between Gwil and Rami, Mazie shooting him a smug grin from where she’s lounging on Rami, cuddled up against her dad and the arm of the couch. As the movie starts up, everyone is quiet, apart from Frankie, whom is whining at not being invited up on the couch with everyone else, the beagle staring at Ben with unblinking brown eyes. Usually she’d be allowed up, but given that there’s popcorn on hand, she’d instantly go buck wild and create a fairly major disturbance.

As the velociraptor dig site came on screen, in almost perfect synch Mazie and Harley sighed “it’s a velociraptor” and Ben swore he’d never been prouder of these kids. Joe groaned, rubbing a hand over his face, before taking a long pull of his drink.

“I drink to forget, but I always remember” he sighs, and Ben frowns, he was literally drinking tea- strong tea, but tea nonetheless.

They sat in silence as the movie continued, Ben and Gwil gradually cuddling up more, Harley clinging onto Gwil as he fought off tiredness- though the blond doubted he’d struggle quite as much once the big dinosaurs started shit-mixing everything. Ben watches the brachiosaurs on screen, the famous ‘welcome to Jurassic park’ line sending shivers throughout the room.

Ben giggled to himself a moment, sharing a look with Gwil- he had the perfect joke, and then almost as if they had that ‘married couple telepathy’ people freaked out about, the older man turned to Joe and asked, “hey, Joe, are you a veggie-saur?”

Then, without skipping a beat, the Jurassic park star quips back with “nah, I love eating meat.” The response leaves the kids indifferent, but the adults in the room gasping for breath, Rami going so far as to smack him lightly on the shoulder, mouth open, meanwhile, Joe is cackling, though that’s soon put a stop to when Mazie glares at him.

“Daddy be quiet, we’re trying to watch the movie!” she demands, and that’s enough to have the room silent again, Ben and Gwil still fighting off giggles even well after every one else has dropped the joke.

Mazie giggles to herself, everyone knew the joke was coming up, everyone was anticipating it, Joe was slowly trying to get himself sucked into the couch, then, all together they said “What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus! What do you call a blind dinosaur’s dog? Do-you-think-he-saurus rex!” everyone is gasping with laughter, and in the process, they all miss seeing Joe reach behind the couch and pull some hard rum out of nowhere to pour into his tea.

The t-rex soon pops up on screen, and Harley, who’d previously been slowly falling asleep against Gwil’s chest, was suddenly sat up straight and began watching the tv with an intense focus, the likes of which Ben has never seen before. He’s also noticed that every time Joe appears on screen, Mazie’s little face lights up, so thrilled to see her dad doing so well on an island infested with dinosaurs. Ben hated to think how distraught she would’ve been watching her dad get zapped by an electric fence or stuck in a car hurtling towards the ground for the first time.

As the movie continues, Ben feels himself start to drift off, even with all the roaring and screaming going on on-screen, it’d been a packed week, reshoots and meetings and getting up early to make lunch for Harley and staying up late to research more roles. This with the fact that he wasn’t young and single anymore, meant that laying on a couch after dinner, cuddled up with Gwil and Harley was a guaranteed way to make him tired.

Harley noticed, and soon the ginger was wiggling over to sit in the middle of the couch, complaining that ‘daddy was squishing me’ as Mazie too moved to sit next to the younger child. This movement had jolted Ben awake, and he looked around blearily before Gwil pressed a kiss to his forehead and pulled him against his side, the blond resting his head on the other’s chest and battling once again to stay awake. Lord knows what Joe might do in revenge, Ben needed to be alert.

* * *

 

Ben was completely out of it, Gwil couldn’t blame him if he were honest, the blond was hard at work, still trying to balance work and a kid even after all this time. The older man smiled to himself, holding Ben against him, fingers carding through soft hair. He’d seen this movie more times than he could count, whether it be for Joe teasing purposes or not, he could practically quote it off by heart. So to say watching was a little bit tedious wouldn’t be an incorrect statement.

Which is partly why he was so intrigued when Harley and Mazie started ignoring the television, instead choosing to whisper conspiratorially between themselves. Gwil furrowed his brows, now quite interested in what they were saying, and when he finally heard, he was all but horrified.

“Mazie, I think my house is haunted!”

The girl gasps, “like a ghost?”

“Yea! She keeps banging on the walls and sometimes I hear her crying in daddy and papa’s room, I’m scared she’s going to get them!”

Gwil was getting very nervous now, and he elbowed Ben awake, and slowly, all the dad’s in the room clued into their kid’s conversation. Mazie covered her mouth, shocked ~~just like everyone else in the room~~ “me too! Sometimes I hear something in their bathroom! I think our house is really haunted, I don’t want daddy or baba getting hurt!” Gwil and Ben shot a grave look to the other two, Joe was throwing back more tea, and Rami’s eyes were wide, a pink tinge to his cheeks.

“I think dad is trying to fight her away, I see scratches and bites on his neck…” Harley gasped, hands on his cheeks “maybe she’s a vampire! She’s trying to eat my dads! I’m scared Mazie, what do we do?” Mazie looked ponderous, a serious furrow to her brows as she thought up a plan.

“I know! I can make some monster spray! We can spray the vampire and the monster and save them! I need to get some glitter, and holy water, and paint!” the brunette was jumping off the couch, grabbing Harley’s arm and trying to pull him after her.

Harley was a little confused about the monster/vampire spray “why paint and glitter?” he asked, following her and leaving the four stunned parents alone on the couch, the movie long forgotten.

Mazie sighed dramatically “so we can see them, obviously!”

Gwil watched them leave, and couldn’t find the right words, he was absolutely flabbergasted, and now very scared of somehow ending up covered in glitter, paint and ‘holy water.’

Then, almost right on cue, Joe reached behind the couch and once again pulled his bottle of rum out of nowhere, setting it down on the coffee table, “someone go get some glasses, I need to try and erase this whole night from my mind.”

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to drop a comment or request down below, or hmu on my [tumblr](https://hardleeharlee.tumblr.com/)


End file.
